Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Micki Minaj Face (MMF)


Lovingly named after Nicki Minaj, the MMF is a slightly different confused face from uncle ruckus. The MMF is used when u are pretending to be wide eyed and naïve, when you actually know what the hell is going on… “ kind sir, does champagne come by the glass here??? “ knowing damn well he gonna have to drop 450 on this BOTTLE of rose’

Side Eye Activate (SEA for short)


People love to lie. They lie about what they’re doing, about when they’ll arrive, about who they’re dating…lying seems to be 2nd nature to most. When people tell blatant unbelievable lies (i.e. the dog ate my homework, we’re just friends, and I’ll be there in 5 minutes) it tends to activate your side eye. Just like Captain Planet said “The Power Is Yours!”, we like to say “Side Eye Activate” when we hear any bullshit. People LOVE activating our side eye.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Skype Sleep Face (SSF)


Sometimes people say or do things that are SO OUT OF CONTROL that all you can do is fall asleep. It's like "itis" of the brain.

GB/GTFB



Acronyms for "good body" or "good the f^$% body", these are people with AMAZING bodies...flat stomach, no saggy parts...swimsuit ready. Miami anyone?

Por Homme



Translates to "for men", usually found on cologne bottles, but in this case refers to women who resemble men. They have strong faces, and if you squint your eyes you can almost see an Adam's Apple.

Fabo


Tat tat tat tatted up! Popularized by the song, this refers to anyone who is tatted up. We LOVE tatted up men (yes, 'ello govnah) when DONE RIGHT. We HATE sparse tattoos or dumb tattoos. Tatted up girls CAN be cool if it's done right...dripping vagina cherries, "slippery when wet" signs, and the names of exes scrawled across your skin are all Fabo...but NOT CUTE.

Marching


When you get really good news, see a boon, or get so excited you want to scream, your knees start marching. The better the news, the higher the knees. If your knees go so high that they hit you in the nose, you get a nose bleed. Nose bleed is the HIGHEST form of marching.

Conjure Witch



A woman who resembles a New Orleans voodoo witch. She is not necessarily ugly or old, but she IS usually equipped with red lipstick to really set the look off. Conjure witches come in all shapes, sizes, and ages. You might also hear us refer to them as "Ludayac".

The Maxine Shaw...Attorney at Law


This dreadful hairstyle was...well...DREADFUL in the 90s when it made its debut on the show Living Single. Well, now 15 years later some people just can's seem to LET IT GO. If your hair doesn't grow past the "Maxine Shaw" length, then it might be time to invest in a weave...or the new fave, a lace front O_O

The Hair


Usually a "blessing" bestowed upon lightskinned men (but not limited to them). The hair is a receding hairline, thin hair, OFTEN claimed to be "good hair"...but this hair my friends is in our opinion...not so good.

Uncle Ruckus


When people tell you things that are annoying, confusing, and all-in-all UNBELIEVABLE, sometimes you have no words to express how you're feeling. So you just have to hit 'em with the Uncle Ruckus face O_o

Hercedes/Babymama Benz


Not to be confused with the 50 Cent benz, this Mercedes is ONLY acceptable for ladies and babymamas...why are you 6'2" in a C Class? I guess that "c" stands for CHEAP.

50 Cent Benz


The Mercedes that 50-cent drove in the movie "get rich or die trying", this benz, although fresh back in the day...is NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE, and some of you have the nerve to try and sice it with new rims. I see some of yall out here didn't get the memo.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Pre-Teen Heels


Those pointlessly short heels that are ONLY acceptable if you're a PRE-TEEN or at a Bar Mitzvah O_o. Unfortunately, these are often worn by tacky adults.

Michael Kors


Synonymous with CHEAP! As a guest judge on Project Runway, Michael Kors is always known for his blunt commentating. When one designer paraded his awful design down the runway, before Heidi could even ask for comments he hollered out CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAP! Even if something is expensive, if it looks CHEAP, it's referred to as MICHAEL.

No Me

Short for "no me importa". All the spanish people will know what this means, but pronounced "No May", it's spanish for idgaf.

Boon


A sexy man (or woman) who makes you close your eyes and whisper in a really low voice about how sexy they are....or if you're Rick, they make you bite your fist O_o. Examples of boons are Devin Thomas, Kerry Rhodes, Adrienne Bailon. Not to be confused with someone who is simply good looking, a boon provokes a physical reaction.

African Weave


A weave that resembles a wig (a BAD wig) where all the hair is gathered at the top in a totally UNREALISTIC fake scalp circle....usually done by Africans O_o
 
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